Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Balancing Act

If balancing is a law of nature, then we need to work harder towards it. At every step, on this tight rope walk there seems to be a threat of falling. Yet, at every step there lies another chance to balance your act. The steps we will measure in this article, are after you have covered 1/4th of your journey, have put on new shoes and have a new partner in the game. Lets discover the success of your journey as you walk with your partner and your your laces just opened.

'Marriage is an institution that brings along great responsibility' for sure, it redefines the meaning of most of the things in your life and sooner or later you update your dictionary to write a new page and then new chapters. Yet, many people fail to give it its due and do not live up to the most important test of life.

We all have heard stories, where ambition, career and money overtake you in your journey, or spill oil on the rope and you have a bad fall. There are so many cases where men and women, who are working towards their career paths forget that the person walking with them is equally important to balance the rope and even though they take their steps quicker, they don't reach far, because either the string tying them to their better half pulls them back and they tumble over or they stop to cut it off where they waste their time and energy. At one point, filling up their treasure chest, climbing up the corporate ladder blinds us of our responsibility, but is that the right thing to do? Doesn't that mean that we have failed in the most crucial test? how does any other success count after that. Recently at work, our team was having a conversation over lunch about some of the top entrepreneurs in Australia (would refrain from taking names), their bank accounts, success and commitment towards work. For more than our designated eating time, each of us could not stop us from praising their efficiency, business acumen and luck. Suddenly, I popped a question at the group. If these people were spending 18- 20 hours in a day working, they must be doing a good job juggling between family and office. There came a prompt and insensitive reply, as if I had asked one of the silliest questions.' They are divorced'. 3-4 people left their partners as they got into the second year of their business. That left me disappointed. Indeed they would have had their side of the story, but success and lack of time did bind these cases together.

One of my mentors once said, having a companion is the best thing that can happen to you, and there is so much you can do with this relationship. It can be your comfort cushion or your punching bag in times when you need it most. Being together is not just about a social tag, about cooking together, cleaning, lovemaking or having babies. It is an inspiration that brings the best in you and makes you take that next step and achieve whatever you want to.

When parents match horoscopes before 2 people get married, they talk about happiness and being compatible.. but what does compatibility mean? liking the same actor? cuisine? having common friends or sense of humour? its none, its about making the other person feel beautiful feel inspired, happy and lucky to have the other person. Its about inspiring your partner to lose that extra kilo, send one more job application, spend hours writing your business goals and celebrate success together.Together both of you should make the best team to achieve everything you have ever wanted to.

I don't write this as a reference from an article,movie or observation, I say this from experience. I got married last year and my husband and I came together leaving differences such as language, cultures, interests and continents. I come from a marketing background, trying to creatively find beauty in everything and my husband is a hotelier, who loves the grandeur of things, numbers and his financial express. My perception of marriage was very similar to what most people have, but after living it for almost a year now, I can see 2 reinvented people, two people who have had their dreams but did not have a direction and as they came together, they became a team who can take on the world and realise both their personal and professional aspirations. In spite of our differences we found a common ground and enjoy what each of us brings to the table, to complement each other as tea and cookies.

Leaving India and shifting to Melbourne was a challenge, plus dealing with a new lifestyle and the fact that we were married now, it brought new experiences and discoveries. At many times I found it difficult to settle into work and personal life, but as soon as I took one step backward, my husband would go out of his way to bring back my passion and encourage me to do things I love, things that define me. That is why I am back to writing actively and have made it a part of my routine. It was never about , you 'have' to adjust because you are the wife and that's the rule, it has always been about finding each others passion and making it our strength.

The worldly truth is that each of us has dreams and no one but we have to work for them, so why not dream together and achieve more by putting in the energy, personality and commitment of two people? Another truth is also that to realise dreams it is important to quantify them, we need to know the destination and then pave a path to follow. Weekends are the best time to do this. In the beginning of the year, Me and Manav , sit down on a Saturday afternoon, enjoying some beer and cold cuts. We decided to chalk out our 5 and 10 year goals individually and then discuss them. After an hour of thought and getting personal space to introspect, we started to talk. Surprisingly, we not just got to know much more about each other but also saw similarities in out personal aspirations and decided to work together on our professional desires.

A typical notion is, that a wife desires and a man fulfils, which i disagree, we both should equally contribute towards the future and be ready to take on the responsibility of taking care of the other emotionally, financially and otherwise. I know that Manav wants to own a certain car one day, So, I will put in my best to help him get it, that's how we create a balance.

So, its time to let go of stereotype notions, hypocritical mindset and work towards bringing the best out of your partner because when you reach the end of the rope, your success would not be complete with only the money you have or the designation you hold, what would make you truly successful is how well you balance your personal and professional attributes and make a beautiful life and strong team. Because when you celebrate the smallest success with your partner, it would be an overwhelming experience, which is hard to describe and harder to replicate. It is called "love'.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

How deep is your end of the pool?

Life pushes everyone into the 'deep end' of the pool, but the chances of survival are determined either by the acquired skill ( swimming) or the hereditary attribute (height) you possess. Use one of them to your advantage quickly or you are bound
to drown, evaluating
the 'depth', other people are struggling through.

No ones life is perfect, wish it would be. Each of us are consumed by issues, big or small that comfortably take most of our life. At no point in time would our life be free of problems or drams because if that happens, then either there are not enough things you have to keep you involved or not enough people who matter to you, not enough decisions awaiting your verdict or not enough ambitions to push you through. In a normal world,whatever the case be, we are always faced with things that keep our minds occupied, that give us sleepless nights and eventually make us happy.

We live our life thinking, why me? why did this have to happen to me... but what we forget is that the person sitting next to you in the tram, or a movie theatre or in office has exactly the same cloud of thoughts. We compare our lives with others, creating a few more 'issues' for ourselves, intentionally oblivious of the fact, that each person has a set of people and goals which he or she has to achieve and to do that they have to struggle. What differentiates people at this stage is how wisely they use this opportunity to their advantage.

When life throws a question at you, then you have two ways to answer it. One is to use your skills that God packaged you with, be it physical, mental or emotional characteristics. fully exploit them because you cant possibly donate them after you die. Or acquire skills which will give you the wisdom to answer these questions correctly. Read, talk, interact, observe, practice and do everything it takes to polish them and emerge out successful. This theory is applicable in the simplest or toughest of situations, to the youngest or the eldest and to the richest or the poorest.

We have choices and then we have opportunities disguised as choices. We have the skill and we have ambition, what runs out is the time. So before you drown looking at someone else, who is maybe taller or a better swimmer than you are, hone your skills and reach the other end safely,because you are bound to be pushed... and unfortunately life does not push you in with a warning or a swimming tube.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Lets challenge the challenge!

Taking up a new challenge is like tasting a new cocktail.. either you would love it and know a new drink..or you wont like it, yet, become a drink wiser :)... take a risk today, before someone else does... who knows you might become an ace bartender one day...

Someone once told me that out of a 100, there are only 5% leaders and 95% workers. What distinguishes them is not the experience or the dedication, but the ability to take risk. In a situation, where both the 'kinds' of people are faced with a challenge to take up, or make a decision, the most likely event would be that the worker would either ignore it as not being a part of his routine, or not be game enough to give it a thought,as it would drag him out of his comfort zone. On the contrary, a leader will jump at such an opportunity as he loves doing things which are out of the square, not regular.. that no one has done, or has done differently and there exists an opportunity to give it a new dimension... and that courage to try the 'unknown' will make him one point more successful, richer and wiser than the worker.

In the span of time, as the leader keeps accumulating these points, he rises so high up in the ladder, that the distance and designation between him and the worker becomes evident and enviable. But what the worker and the onlookers forget, it that this has been created not because the leader kept stepping up the ladder dubiously, but because the worker did not take up any opportunity to fill in this distance and take a step forward.

In life, you stand on this threshold a lot of times, and personally, I consider myself lucky to be in such a situation, where I have to take a decision, involving risk, because that implies that the gain will be more as well, its no different from a game at your favourite casino. Each of us gets this chance to take the plunge.Either we take it, not 'unknowingly' but after careful consideration or crib about it and the upcoming 'change' life is about to bring. I am not implying that the decision will be 'easy' in any way, it would bring along insecurity, loss, impatience,discomfort. and stepping into the 'unknown'.. but what you have to look at it is the long term benefit, the success it will bring. It will get you an accolade of being man enough to try something different in life and the worst that can happen is that you find yourself in the same spot where you started from.But, that will never be the case, because like I said, you will surely be more wiser, stronger, knowledgeable and one point up on the success ladder.

To sum it up, just like a new cocktail, where you don't know how it will taste, yet you know the ingredients individually ,In life, you don't know what will happen tomorrow, yet you know that ingredients like hard work, patience, skill, knowledge and common sense will earn you the brownie points you want... all you need to have is an appetite for 'success'.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Do Wishes Come True?

Do wishes come true? Lets stop for a moment and think about this...

Well, they do! is what I would say and maybe you would too.. Sometimes, God surprises you and gives you everything you want at the blink of any eyelid and people would say.. OMG how lucky are you! Sometimes, God grants you what you want.. but maybe not the way you wanted it.. and sometimes.. he takes his time.. and people still say.. OMG! How lucky are you! oblivious of the million times you must have closed your eyes and prayed to him, of the several evenings.. you must have sat by your windowsill. looking at God's creation outside.. wondering how lucky the people on the other side of the glass are.. and asking yourself the same question I asked you before.. Do wishes come true? .. This seems to be a vicious circle of questions.. but the beauty of it lies in the fact is that you have the answer within them!

As I write.. I wonder too.. When was the last time I wished for something and promised GOD. that this will be the last time I wish for anything.. well, at least this thought brings a smile to your face...if you come to think of it.. If you don't wish.. then the excitement and thrill of life would fade away.. from wishing for a thing as petty as your pimple going away the next morning to meeting the Mr. Right at the prom the next evening.. these wishes are like clues in a Treasure Hunt Game.. You keep wishing, you keep finding clues to fulfil them and the future keeps unfolding.. making your life no less than a magical experience.. and guiding you to that Biggest Treasure..

Talking about biggest treasure.. Have you ever wondered what that treasure is? What is that one thing that you would wish for.. and then stop wishing as you would get it? What is that one thing you want before you end this maze of life? You would surely have more than one answer.. because even if today.. a dying man wishes for his life.. Tomorrow when his wish will be granted he will wish for a better life.. and if someone wishes for death.. tomorrow he will wish for salvation..

As you walk through the game of life.. and keep solving every hurdle.. you collect these treasures.. small ones, big ones, not so significant ones and then walk with them.. with a bright smile.. The truth is.. that when you reach the end of this will be time to quit the will see this big chest.. the Big Treasure.. and when you will open it.. you will be surprised to find all these small wishes and memories you collected over your journey sitting in there.. your childhood toys, christmas stockings,loving parents, friends, grade ten certificates, prom night pictures, first job letter, marriage pictures, kids, success appreciation letters, holiday souvenirs, grand kids pictures and bank account statements..:) that would be your big treasure.. because at that moment, when you sit down to browse through all of them.. you would answer my question and say! OMG.. thats what Iv always wished for...Wishes surely come true!!!

Thursday, May 20, 2010


Change is the only constant in your life... It is as constant as the snow on the higest mountain peak, negativity in the mind of a pessimist, food in the hand of a binge and faith in the soul of a believer..

Yet.. Transition is something we rarely welcome.. it is one aspect we avoid, refrain from talking about and run away from indulging in.. because transistion brings with itself flexibility, a new outlook, discomfort and a lot of self relalisation.. and none of us would want to abandon our comfort blanket and go all out in the cold..

I have been experiencing transition lately.. in both my personal and professional life.. and the discomfort has brought me here.. because I have been looking for a platform to express it for a while.. but havnt really got the time for it.. So here I am.. In a phase of transition just scribbing a few things down...

Professionally.. Well I Do love My joB..and thats one of the reasons I always have a big smile on my face no matter How hard the day has been and how messy the next one is expected to be.. Panic and Frustration have given me company throughout but never in the propotion of me disliking my work.. So I continue to be hardworking employee.. for whom work takes priority.. over everything else.. and Today, as I come close to completing one whole year in the organisation, I do realise the importance of putting in every iota of the effort, because it has definately made me learn things.. but as things begin to change in an organisation.. with the rule of perpetual succession applies here.. people come and go.. pursuing personal goals and objectives.. Yet.. you remain limited to your own struggle.. although everyone says this.. including one of my collegues who has decided to move on that its the work that matters and not the people.. but for me it will always be the people who affect me as they fall in the ambit of my immediate external environment and control my work routine, perception , how my day begins, how it ends and everything in between.. You surely tel people that you are still as passionate about your work .. but then.. deep down .. you feel the passion dying down.. which bothers me a lot.. because I want to mantain what I have to do.. effectively and efficiently at all times.. Thats supposed to be my golden rule.. which I am deviating from now..


Talking about the personal transition.. yes.. there is some.. although its just the beginning.. and there is a long way to go as I tranform from just a girl lost in her own world.. to being a wife, a daughter in law.. and a family person.. The thought of it sounds bewildering at times, taken the commitment and responisbility it takes,. but then just like every other phase in my life and the justice I have done to it.. it is but imperitive for me to devote myself to this transition as well. A lot of times, have I thought.. of the need to make sacrifices, to cook, take care of family, be responsible.. yes.. the question did pop up .. why? I dont know all this.. But then.. now.. as I draw closer to reality, I ask myself! would I want to just let this phase go and not do what is asked for me just because I have never done it before? and I get a promot reply! No ways.. it is important for my to excel in this test as well, because it not just reflects on the person I am but also what my upbringing has been.. Bringing in values to the family, keeping in well knit with all the love and care and bring a smile on everyones face with the love and warmth would be a few exmples I have promised myself I will live By..

Yes, transition is difficult.. It is tough to leave behind 24 years of your life for something you have never experienced.. but taking risks and gambling is always fun as it brings spice to your life.. and you will never regret not doing something!!! So I close my eyes.. take a deep breath and tell myelf.. Go Shrink Go!! its going to be a journey of a lifetime!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Let Me Hold your Hand

Let me hold your hand as we go downhill,
We’ve shared our strength and we share it still.
It hasn’t been easy to make the climb,
But the way was eased by your hand in mine.
Like the lake, our life has had ripples too,
Ill-health, and worries, and payments due,
With happy pauses along the way.
At the foot of the slope, we will stop and rest,
Look back, if you wish; we’ve been truly blessed,
We’ve been spared the grief of being torn apart
By death, or divorce, or a broken heart.
The view ahead is one of the best,
Just a little bit farther, and then we can rest.
We move more slowly, but together still,
Let me hold your hand as
We go

:) this was the first piece of writing that inspired me.. to pen down something interesting.. and today as i write my old verses.. its only fair that i make a mention of this beautifully written poem.. Quite true to what I feel:)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

There is Something New!

Its not too often that I am in a mood like this.. a bit contemplative and somewhat reactive.. very calm, yet terpid with the introspection within.. Its like one of those expensive cocktails on the menu that sounds like a fancy concoction of various spirits and flavours.. but is just a plan mix of some aspirations, happiness, deception and loads of hope for sure.. to have a better 'next moment' thats because we think short time a lot of times!

Well, why I am here is a diffrent reason though.. i SUDDENLY remembered my long lost blog.. who used to be my friend at times.. with whom i used to talk with and spill out secrets to my hearts content! but just like any other selfish individual I forgot about it as my life picked up pace and started to tread a new path! But here I am.. resting for a while.. as I have been walking too fast for the past few months! Stopped to think, to absorb smile... and then maybe take the next step.. :)

So.. well, Iv noticed that iv started using this word too much (so).. thanks to a person who has taught me a lot . its funny how you learn so much from everyone around you without even realising the worth of the lesson! Sometimes you are grateful for it when you get rewarded for the consequence of the implementation , yet sometimes you are disgusted by the unwanted learning! for me it has been positive so far.. and I am HAPPY.. I state that in Capitals because that is the most important thing at the end of the day.. no matter how gruesome, tough, easy, bewildering or smooth your journey has been, what you remember is the feeling you had when you took the last step.. Its not the last step for me though. So ya ( look the 'so' comes again!)

I was elaborating on what I have learnt from this person. One.. you realise your true commitment, like we say.. till you push the limits you never know how far can you go.. similarly.. sometimes.. you do not realise how giving and caring.. how emotional. There is not much I can explain on this,, but then.. all I would want to say is.. have you ever closed your eyes and seen an unending ocean, with a beautiful vibgyor arising from the horizon! If not.. then you are just short of pushing the 'limit' try once again.. :)

One instant can change your life.. sometimes when you dont want to do something as badly as a kid not wanting to sit for his mathematics paper, or going to the dentist the next morning and innocently praying to God for him to fall sick .. yet its that very thing which brings sureal happiness to your life,, and you think and then think again as to how close were you to losing this smile on your face and losing this dream of the vast blue expanse! and then you sit back and smile again.. being happy on the decision you took!
Back to where I was.. What has this 'new' person taught me? besides giving me a little more motivation, some magical moments, loads of memories and a handful of tears! he has given me the ability to 'push the limit' and see myself in a different light.. a new confident and more secure person.. but then i wonder! was I that weak and that i needed sumone to come and show me who I really am! Lets not go there.. lets just settle for the simple reason that just like every diamond needs to be carefully chisled to make it a masterpiece ;P.. i needed this new 'entry' and encouragement!:D to bring out my true self!
When life changes, it wipes out your past, cleans your expectations for the future.. It just takes you, holding you strongly by the hand and helps you walk confidently along the new road he has carved out for you ... it gives you opportunites, guides you patiently and at the same time tests you religiously! so.. we just need to believe in what we have and what we want from our present and future.. We need to realise that at times, the countless names written on wet sand, and the innocent dreams drawn on the beach are not going to stay there always, there is surely a wave which will come along the way and wipe away everything .. but at the same time.. it will also sweep you off your feet and take you to the middle of the ocean.. bring you closer to the dream you saw when you closed your eyes and let you loose yourself in the beauty of the seamless water.. because.. like a strong perfect relationship.. this water.. is flexible and adapts itslef according to the container you put it in.. it makes you calm, peaceful and forever beautiful.. It makes you the person you really are:).. it makes you fall in love with yourself again. and more than anything else it makes you do what you love doing...It makes you smile :)