Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Balancing Act

If balancing is a law of nature, then we need to work harder towards it. At every step, on this tight rope walk there seems to be a threat of falling. Yet, at every step there lies another chance to balance your act. The steps we will measure in this article, are after you have covered 1/4th of your journey, have put on new shoes and have a new partner in the game. Lets discover the success of your journey as you walk with your partner and your your laces just opened.

'Marriage is an institution that brings along great responsibility' for sure, it redefines the meaning of most of the things in your life and sooner or later you update your dictionary to write a new page and then new chapters. Yet, many people fail to give it its due and do not live up to the most important test of life.

We all have heard stories, where ambition, career and money overtake you in your journey, or spill oil on the rope and you have a bad fall. There are so many cases where men and women, who are working towards their career paths forget that the person walking with them is equally important to balance the rope and even though they take their steps quicker, they don't reach far, because either the string tying them to their better half pulls them back and they tumble over or they stop to cut it off where they waste their time and energy. At one point, filling up their treasure chest, climbing up the corporate ladder blinds us of our responsibility, but is that the right thing to do? Doesn't that mean that we have failed in the most crucial test? how does any other success count after that. Recently at work, our team was having a conversation over lunch about some of the top entrepreneurs in Australia (would refrain from taking names), their bank accounts, success and commitment towards work. For more than our designated eating time, each of us could not stop us from praising their efficiency, business acumen and luck. Suddenly, I popped a question at the group. If these people were spending 18- 20 hours in a day working, they must be doing a good job juggling between family and office. There came a prompt and insensitive reply, as if I had asked one of the silliest questions.' They are divorced'. 3-4 people left their partners as they got into the second year of their business. That left me disappointed. Indeed they would have had their side of the story, but success and lack of time did bind these cases together.

One of my mentors once said, having a companion is the best thing that can happen to you, and there is so much you can do with this relationship. It can be your comfort cushion or your punching bag in times when you need it most. Being together is not just about a social tag, about cooking together, cleaning, lovemaking or having babies. It is an inspiration that brings the best in you and makes you take that next step and achieve whatever you want to.

When parents match horoscopes before 2 people get married, they talk about happiness and being compatible.. but what does compatibility mean? liking the same actor? cuisine? having common friends or sense of humour? its none, its about making the other person feel beautiful feel inspired, happy and lucky to have the other person. Its about inspiring your partner to lose that extra kilo, send one more job application, spend hours writing your business goals and celebrate success together.Together both of you should make the best team to achieve everything you have ever wanted to.

I don't write this as a reference from an article,movie or observation, I say this from experience. I got married last year and my husband and I came together leaving differences such as language, cultures, interests and continents. I come from a marketing background, trying to creatively find beauty in everything and my husband is a hotelier, who loves the grandeur of things, numbers and his financial express. My perception of marriage was very similar to what most people have, but after living it for almost a year now, I can see 2 reinvented people, two people who have had their dreams but did not have a direction and as they came together, they became a team who can take on the world and realise both their personal and professional aspirations. In spite of our differences we found a common ground and enjoy what each of us brings to the table, to complement each other as tea and cookies.

Leaving India and shifting to Melbourne was a challenge, plus dealing with a new lifestyle and the fact that we were married now, it brought new experiences and discoveries. At many times I found it difficult to settle into work and personal life, but as soon as I took one step backward, my husband would go out of his way to bring back my passion and encourage me to do things I love, things that define me. That is why I am back to writing actively and have made it a part of my routine. It was never about , you 'have' to adjust because you are the wife and that's the rule, it has always been about finding each others passion and making it our strength.

The worldly truth is that each of us has dreams and no one but we have to work for them, so why not dream together and achieve more by putting in the energy, personality and commitment of two people? Another truth is also that to realise dreams it is important to quantify them, we need to know the destination and then pave a path to follow. Weekends are the best time to do this. In the beginning of the year, Me and Manav , sit down on a Saturday afternoon, enjoying some beer and cold cuts. We decided to chalk out our 5 and 10 year goals individually and then discuss them. After an hour of thought and getting personal space to introspect, we started to talk. Surprisingly, we not just got to know much more about each other but also saw similarities in out personal aspirations and decided to work together on our professional desires.

A typical notion is, that a wife desires and a man fulfils, which i disagree, we both should equally contribute towards the future and be ready to take on the responsibility of taking care of the other emotionally, financially and otherwise. I know that Manav wants to own a certain car one day, So, I will put in my best to help him get it, that's how we create a balance.

So, its time to let go of stereotype notions, hypocritical mindset and work towards bringing the best out of your partner because when you reach the end of the rope, your success would not be complete with only the money you have or the designation you hold, what would make you truly successful is how well you balance your personal and professional attributes and make a beautiful life and strong team. Because when you celebrate the smallest success with your partner, it would be an overwhelming experience, which is hard to describe and harder to replicate. It is called "love'.