Life is ironical, so it is... even when you drown in the deepest of oceans, you eventually run out of the life within you.. but you rise.. you come up to the bosom of the warm water and then stay there.. So, what should I say? I drowned so that i could embrace the darkest of my fear of losing myself? Or I drowned because its not always easy to rise.. That question will bother me for sometime now.. What is more significant.. is to understand, why is this thought coming to my mind any ways? when I am sitting on my desk in office.. with a series of pending presentations waiting to be completed and a handfull of calls to be made? Wel, maybe because this feeling is taking over mypower of functioning.
Its not always like you think it is.. its not always a bouquet of praises you get and it is surely not easy to prove yourself.. at times.. all the time.. it is intersesting to know.. that at every phase in life.. you have to relive.. recreate and reinvent yourself.. to your teachers in school.. your friends in college.. your family at home and your seniors at work.. you start from scratch.. collecting the various attributes of your personality and packaging it to become the perfect resource for your organisation.. but its easier said than done.. its not a smile or a mail that does the trick ... it is what you produce..so finally you want that you are not left to being just an ID on the payroll against whoes name a figure in marked everyday.. and that is what determines your career.! but then.. that is how it is .. for everyone.... and so it was a slight jolt! but now that I know.. I try to make myself as productive as possible.. no ways do I want to become a liability Iv grown up.. worked hard to be what I am.. so I might as well retain it well!